Letting Go

I really hoped and prayed that you will be ours. When I held you in my arms, you fit right in. I can still remember how you always smiled when you woke up and saw me waiting by your crib, how you mumbled your baby talk that I could listened to for three hours straight. What it was liked to rock you to sleep, how you hummed along with me when I sang you a lullaby. How peaceful you looked when you slept in my arms. Those memories are engrained in my heart. The hospital found your mother. She was so afraid to come to the hospital because of the monstrous hospital bill. But the hospital finally let her pay on an installment basis. She would have to pay the debt for 21 years straight. I hope you know how much she loves you and how hard she works for you. She had an internal bleeding when she had you and couldn't work for 3 months. All those time you were always on her mind. As happy as I am that you both found each other, it broke my heart into pieces when I had to hand you over. I have never loved this much and never felt such pain. I once made a promise that if they found your mother and she wants to take care of you, I'll return you to her. Never thought I'd be asked to keep my promise in such a short time. I knew it would've been hard, I just didn't know it would be this hard. Your mother, Yanti, has a very big heart, she would still let me see you from time to time, for that I'm eternally grateful. Here's a picture of you and your mom, have a happy life, baby. I love you.